Being a modern politician can seem glamorous with all the TV time and runaround news appearances but those are the politicos who have really made it, you don’t start there you know. If it were that easy everyone would do it.

Before anything, be it a smart suit, a college wit or a dodge and weave interview/debate style you have to be a natural at one thing…. Pandering. You see in a modern democracy what really rules is the opinion of the masses or to say it another way the opinion the television tells the masses to have. So basically the media is your guide to the current whim of the masses. If you can faithfully recite the latest line espoused by the media then you truly have your finger on the pulse of the common man. Don’t get comfortable though because the whim of the people can change on a dime and if your not on you toes you’ll say the wrong thing and wham, you’re an outcast and that means the only way to gain the masses approval back is to turn to the reaction apology. We’ll go over that at another time. So watch a lot of TV and take notes. Luckily you don’t have to sit through boring news shows if you don’t want, you can watch MTV and read blogs much better than this one or watch sitcoms or read the funny pages or go see a movie or really anything thats entertaining.

Now comes the hard part. With all the information you glean from the various highly esteemed sources mentioned above you’ll need to adjust your beliefs to fit what you’ve found. This is a very hard thing to do and why it’s really better for a person with no core beliefs to enter politics and not someone that has real convictions. Say continually to yourself “Go Base” when deciding which road to take, always appeal to the weaknesses of the masses, its what they like to hear. Always search for the solution that requires the least effort and solves problems, however temporary, by throwing money at it. They like that also. Don’t actually use the word socialism but follow that sick doctrine like its going out of style.

Well that’s enough for now and I know I left a lot out but we’ll hit it again real soon. Just practice what we talked about and we’ll get into pandering to lobbies, seeking money, choosing the right suit, developing a college wit, reaction apologies and all that fun but necessary stuff later. Your on you way to making your parents proud.

SO YOU WANT TO BE A POLITICIAN WHEN YOU GROW UP – PART 2

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